2 in one day, watch out.

some things i put on here more to document for my life. things i want to remember later or come across when i am reading through old blog posts, blah, blah, you know.

and i came across this today when i was catching up on my google reader aka "not wanting to work" and it just speaks so much truth into my life and into my friends. i think seeing it put this simply was just a breath of fresh air for me and a reminder that "hey, that is exactly the reason why my friends are my friends." sharing the same truth can get you through anything in life. breakups, sucky days, sickness, fights, etc, etc, etc.  and obviously all of the good things that life brings as well.

seeing the same truth and sharing it. so simple, i just love that.

thankfulness.

soooo I might be off a day or two but here is my lists of thanks. i wrote one each day in november but wanted them all in one place instead of randomly on facebook and twitter. it's just more my style, i guess. one spot to remember so many of the things i need to/can be thankful for not just during november, but all year long.

1. Thankful for my mom, who is proving more and more every day that she is super woman.

2. Thankful for diet coke and cheez it's for breakfast, sometimes it's just out of necessity.

3. Thankful for good nights of sleep in my cozy bed.

4. Thankful for these words of encouragement.

5. Thankful for fun coworkers!

6. Thankful for my little brother, who isn't so little anymore, is super wise and has the biggest heart.

7. Thankful for Celina sunsets with a glass of wine on the front porch.

8. Thankful for doctor's who are smart and kind and want the best for me and my family.

9. Thankful for surprise packages in the mail from my Aunt Terry. She knows just how to put a smile on my face.

10. Thankful for fall, and the changing leaves, and the cool weather. It just brings a whole new laid back attitude with my desire for spending time outdoors increasing quickly.

11. Thankful for random texts of encouragement and prayer reminders from friends I haven't heard from in a while.

12. Thankful for this reminder below. i believe THAT with my whole heart!

13. Thankful for lazy Saturdays at home with my fam, drinking wine, making a home cooked meal and an early bed time, call me a grandma and i'd be just fine with that.

14. Thankful for the church I grew up in and the people who have seen me grow up. They love me so well and give the best hugs.

15. Thankful for this encouragement. She was one wise woman...
“I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ― Maya Angelou

16. Thankful that my dad made it through surgery! GOD IS GOOD!

17. Thankful for my roomies and how my roomies love me and love my family so much! they mean the world to me!

18. Thankful for tivo, seems silly, but at the end of a rough day/week sometimes there is nothing better than drinking some wine and watching your favorite show. mindless and lovely i tell you.

19. Thankful for sunsets from the front porch of my parents house. perfection

20. Thankful for aggie football and the fun that always surrounds it. fun with friends cheerin' on our favorite team.

21. Thankful for my church. and Matt Chandler. and his desire for God to be known and for us (his people) to make Him known.

22. Thankful for God's grace. and how He constantly pursues my heart.

23. Thankful for Marquejah, I love that girl so much and I am constantly reminded that she teaches me way more than I even teach her.

24. Thankful for Psalm 61. and all of its promises.

my list could go on and on. but as i just read through this my heart swells that i have all of these things to be thankful for. that God has entrusted me with all of these people and places and things. thankful, i tell you. thankful.

and now, it's CHRISTMAS TIME!!!

Never once.

heard this song at church on sunday. realized how much truth it reveals in my life right now. grateful that my God is faithful, in the good and the bad, the hard and the easy, and everything else in between. this was just such a sweet reminder, that He is with me, He is for me, and I really can get through anything with him on my side.

Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

He is for us and He loves us

you know those weeks where you sometimes really don't think you will make it to Friday. but then, all of the sudden Friday is here and you are slightly shocked and extremely excited. this week HAS been a long one to say the least, lots of things have been going on in the mccauley family world...we found out my dad had a stroke (around 2 weeks ago). to say we are grateful that he is ok and that nothing more serious happened would be an understatement.

with dad's cancer diagnosis, the tumor in my neck, tons of surgeries, doctors appointments, and everything else going on, i can still confidently say that God really does only give you what you can handle. i was talking to my mom the other day about how i havent really cried. about my dads cancer or about all of my surgeries and doctors appointments and the big unknown of the tumor in my neck...she went on to say, "i think it's bc you aren't scared. you really do have an overall peace about the situations God has placed you and our family in." i thought about that for a while, at first not really believing her AT ALL but i just keep thinking about what she said. of course i have moments of fear, where i feel it trying to creep up in situations but i think at the end of each day (especially in the past 2 months) i have a steady peace throughout all the unknown. i do trust in God's plan for my life and as i see him continually protecting my family from a bigger problem or something much worse i can honestly say i wouldn't change any of the situations we are in.

i have been realizing i need to blog about all of these things for a while now but havent really felt up to it. trying to figure out how to put things into words is either really easy for me or really hard, never much of an in between to be honest. i was telling a friend earlier in the week "sometimes the fear just creeps up and i'm having the hardest time pushing it away, and i hate that feeling of it owning you." my friend said, "i know it's hard to trust that the Lord knows what He is doing. He's not going to put you through anything you cant handle though. yes he challenges us, and sometimes the challenges aren't easy, but he is for us. I know that's hard to believe maybe, but He loves you."

i think its the last part that really got me and thats when everything clicked. sometimes it can be that simple. that He is for us and He loves us. whatever the challenges or difficult situations are that come our way, He is for us and He loves us. if at the end of the day i truly believe that and live that out in my life, the fear will slip away and peace will creep in and fill my heart. don't get me wrong, there are some days where i feel like i need to be constantly reminded of that or have someone repeatedly encouraging me in that BUT that's ok.

and amidst all of these doctors appointments in dallas and houston i have felt SO loved. i know i've said this before as well but my friends and family know to love BIG. and they do it sooo well. i know a lot of people say they are "blessed" but i can honestly say my friends and family make me feel blessed every. single. day. whether it's a text or a hug or a small thing that they may not even realize, it goes so far with me and fills up my heart.

you know that feeling when you take a deep breath and didnt even realize you were holding it in, i have had those moments a lot recently, but it's in those moments that i realize the love that surrounds me, when i am able to take a big breath out, its like saying "phew, i am not doing any of this on my own." and i mean seriously, how blessed does that make me? i cant even describe.

i know in years or months i will be glad i wrote this little post. if for any reason is that i know the Lord has more to teach me in the coming months with trusting him through doctors and surgeons and medicines. and i THINK i am prepared to see how he will work through those situations. if anything, i know it will be for his glory, and as long as i can remember that He loves ME and He is for ME then i know everything will turn out just as he planned all along.

this is my dream house/room/bed/decorations. and yes, this is definitely important enough to blog.

the perfect reminder on a day just like today. grateful that He loves me, takes delight in me, quiets my fears with His love and rejoices over me.

just what i needed today. knowing that i am always in the middle of God's plan for my life...whatever it is. wherever it is. whoever it's with. He knows, and that is what matters. plain and simple.

keep me.

at church on sunday, matt chandler preached through galatians 5:1-15, it was a great sermon that talked about fear and love and living a life that exudes what freedom in Christ really is.

but all i can keep thinking about is the one thing i took away...he was talking about how his prayer every single more is very simple.... matt said he prays, "keep me, Lord."

keep me, Lord.

i guess what it comes down to is and what the Lord wanted me to take away from this particular, kind of random, sunday night church service is that it really is that simple.

keep me, Lord.

keep me, loving.
keep me, enduring.
keep me, struggling.
keep me, fighting.
keep me, laughing.
keep me, learning.
keep me, yearning.
keep me, praying.
keep me, listening.

Jesus promises me this freedom and promises me that He will...keep me by the freedom he promises me and desires for me as long as i stand firm. that He will keep me under his wing. He doesn't ever say it won't come without a cost or a fight or hardship or even laughter and love. but knowing that He keeps me, and knowing even more that that needs to be my prayer, my desire, my longing. that reminder being put on my heart on sunday was something i needed so much more than i ever, ever realized.

grateful for a Lord who loves me far more than anyone. grateful for a church that challenges me. grateful for people in my life who love me so well and love me despite all my failures. and mostly grateful for a Jesus who just simply keeps me.

i've 100% believed this my entire life. and i hope i never stop believing it...

can't believe it's already here.

where did APRIL go?!?!?!

before I know it, I feel like I am going to be way too old and have no clue where the time has gone.

things i need to do this month:

go to church...novel idea, i know.
make my life less busy (trying to figure out how and if this is possible).
soak up this lovely weather on as many patios as possible.
complain a little less.
work out a little more.

grateful for this life and every new day and blessing.

this has already been a great week....

....got to celebrate my bday with friends, 9 bottles of wine, modern family and mini "nothing bundt cakes" = perfection.

....got to go to dinner with my parents, had the yummiest ice cream cake, got to talk to old friends who were sweet to call and tell me happy bday.

....greatest bday gift ever = season tickets to the wyly theater! mother daughter dates...here we come.

....and maybe the best part of all. knowing i get to be reunited with ALL of my best friends in one of my favorite cities for an entire weekend. to say i'm excited can't even begin to explain it.

i am one happy 25 year old. So grateful for this life i get to live and every single person in it. Sometimes i get overwhelmed at the love that surrounds me but when those moments come about, i try to push away the overwhelmingness and just soak it up and be GRATEFUL. because i know, what i have is so so soooo good. great friends. great family. great job. great life. definitely wouldnt have it any. other. way.

so since 25 is actually a 1/4 century, i say here's to trying new things, complaining a lot less, seeing at least ONE new city, and soaking up this life in every way possible. if i know one thing for sure, i know that this is the one life i got. here's to living it up!

He makes all things new. I think the last line of this little quote above says it all perfectly, "In the final analysis, it is between you and God; It never was between you and them anyway."

It's so easy to get caught up in drama and things that are so unimportant and so so distracting. it's like before i know it, i'm overwhelmed by so many things in life that give me no meaning, growth, challenge. i think the best way to describe it would be just feeling like i'm on autopilot. and i ask myself why it is so easy to get to that point so quickly??

what i want is a life full of meaning and Jesus and laughter. and dont get me wrong, i do have that. most of the time. but i want my mind to just be constantly focused on those things as well. i need accountability for being in the word more, volunteering at church more, but mainly i feel like that desire is missing at times to have those things fill my life.

but the best part about it all is, He makes all things new. He is always there to pick me back up, set me back on track, and encourage me along the way. and that is possibly the greatest peace that i have in my life. it challenges me to not be on autopilot but instead to wander off the path. try new things, do new things, love new people. 

with Easter coming up i guess it all just becomes so weight-y...the sacrifice, suffering, forgiveness, grace. and ultimately i am still amazed that He chose me. what a God i get to serve that he would send His son to die on the cross for my stupid, ugly sins. that He loves me every. single. time i disappoint him, let him down. to type that out just makes me breath a sigh of relief, which is an understatement in a very big way.

i think i am just excited for april. ready to have my eyes and heart open to what the Lord is going to teach me. to just be in a state of gratefulness (pretty sure i made that word up) at the sacrifice He gave for me. and to just be grateful for what i have, live in the moment and not always be thinking about the next best thing.

cant seem to get this Hillsong song out of my head the past couple days.

"...God is with us
God is on our side
He will make a way
Far above all we know
Far above all we hope
He has done great things..."

raised to life, our God is able.

it's days like yesterday where you have semi-awkward run in's with your ex that i am once again so grateful for amazing friends who love me so, so well. and grateful for a God who heals hearts, brings grace and teaches you way more from a somewhat "small" situation than you ever thought was possible.

2 weeks until this will be my view for 7 blissssssful days. I. AM. SO. EXCITED!!!!!

this speaks so much truth. in pretty much any area of life. we are created to live a life that takes us on a journey, builds wisdom and truth and knowledge. it doesnt necessarily mean that there arent great things about your past. things you want to remember forever. i think it just means that looking forward is where the journey always continues. bringing me to new things, new experiences, new relationships. and in the end, what is better than that?

“I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life. I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.  I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.  I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou



i have read this quote here and there in life but i always feel like it just gives so much insight. i think as i get older i have all of these thoughts that the world we live in is just so sad, broken, consumed but i think that is really all perspective.

that it really, really can be what you make it.

the smiles i give to strangers, hugs i give to people i love, honest conversations i have...

ALL of those things matter and have so much importance. i want to constantly remind myself to fill my life with things of that nature and not things that bring nothing positive to my day to day life. because at the end...i truly think those will be the things i remember. the things that other people remember. the things that matter.

because all in all i think THOSE are the things that make the world go round. living life with people you love and loving them well. laughing as much as possible. being PATIENT. and trusting that the Lord's plan is perfect.

and not only trusting that but being SO thankful that he chose me. and that He laid out a perfect, detailed, plan for me. to say it leaves me speechless sometimes would be an understatement but very, very true.

grateful and speechless. yep, that's about it.

i really, really, really love this. like, really.

“Never be so focused on

what you’re looking for that

you overlook the thing

you actually find.”

lust list.

i want this bed and everything in this room...king sized, please!





homemade snicker bars...cant get much better than that. must. make. soon.

 

i would like these pants from anthro. in any and ALL colors.

 

 

red velvet gooey butter cookies. enough said.

 

 

cant wait for this to be my view in a little over a month! st. thomas - here we come!

 

 

http://www.serialboxpresents.com/

 

this is my new favorite website. has great music and awesome bios. love.

 

and this quote...is just perfection for so many areas of my life.

this is the perfect reminder and applies to every part of my life.

resolutions, pshhh.

“Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering ‘it will be happier’...” - Alfred Lord Tennyson



sooo many things can happen in ONE year...and what more is this blog for than some type of record. since i am so forgetful (which i know, i have said before) i want to remember all the things that happened this year, things i loved, did, learned about, etc.

i....
...started a new job
...resigned my lease on my apt in uptown
...continued attending the village church
...ran a 10k with one of my best friends
...went on vacation to Seattle to see my cousins
...read lots of books, if you need recomendations, i got 'em.
...met new people, gained new friends
...lost people i LOVED
...went through hard stuff, easy stuff, funny stuff
...continued mentoring marquejah
...fell in love with spotify which made my days fly by AND showed me lots of new music
...also fell in love with glitter nail polish (shout out kk)
...got a new car which was a hand-me-down that i love
...became officially addicted to twitter
...learned more about HR and excel than i ever could have imagined
...ate lots and lots of good food and wine in Dallas with people i love
...drove to Houston quite a bit, but it's ALWAYS worth it
...sat on the white couch alot with the roomies, cant imagine any better place honestly
...and obviously lots of other things i can't quite remember at the moment.

so for 2012, i have been thinking about some type of "resolution" because i LOVE the idea of committing to something but to be honest i'm not very good at it. and i love having goals but don't like breaking them so i can't do anything that is too hard (ha). so i think i just want to have a list, like the things above that i just want to do BETTER at this year.

...be a better friend and be intentional and love people well.
...when i say i will pray for some one, actually DO IT and not just do it once.
...use my gym membership more
...be open to new opportunities with work, boys, friends and life.
...not be consumed by iphones, social media, twitter, instagram, even though i do love all of those things.
...be confident in my swimsuit come March for vacay to st. thomas still trying to concoct an "effective" plan for this bc trust me, i have tried to snap my fingers and that hasnt worked soooo.
...become a member at the Village, this was technically part of last years "resolutions" but i am signed up for membership classes in January so i'm on my way.
...after i become a member, actually get involved and keep my commitments.
...eat less fried food, drink more water and less diet coke/dr pepper/etc.
...keep in touch with old friends.
...make my bed everyday. i mean there is just something about throwing your purse on the floor of your room after work and seeing that your bed is made. maybe for me its just knowing that that one part of my life is "under control."
...complain about my job less and instead be grateful that i have one. all days cant be a good day, even though i would be completely fine with that.
...run another 10k or maybe 2, that could also help with my above swimsuit "goal."
...spend my money on things that make memories and not things that i wont remember in 2 days.
...go on at least one vacation with my best friends :) this has only been a plan in the making for 4+ years ha.
...have a "shopping" budget. sadly this might be the hardest thing on this list. but again i will attempt.
...stick to a workout schedule. i would like it to be 2 mornings a week and 2 afternoons a week.
...live life and complain as little as possible. i know i have way too much to be grateful for BUT that i can be constantly reminded of those things and not consumed by the things that hang me up, but don't matter at all in the long run.
... anddddd, not let fear hold me back from doing ANYTHING.

"Don’t be afraid of your fears. They’re not there to scare you. They’re there to let you know that something is worth it.” - C. JoyBell