thankfulness.

soooo I might be off a day or two but here is my lists of thanks. i wrote one each day in november but wanted them all in one place instead of randomly on facebook and twitter. it's just more my style, i guess. one spot to remember so many of the things i need to/can be thankful for not just during november, but all year long.

1. Thankful for my mom, who is proving more and more every day that she is super woman.

2. Thankful for diet coke and cheez it's for breakfast, sometimes it's just out of necessity.

3. Thankful for good nights of sleep in my cozy bed.

4. Thankful for these words of encouragement.

5. Thankful for fun coworkers!

6. Thankful for my little brother, who isn't so little anymore, is super wise and has the biggest heart.

7. Thankful for Celina sunsets with a glass of wine on the front porch.

8. Thankful for doctor's who are smart and kind and want the best for me and my family.

9. Thankful for surprise packages in the mail from my Aunt Terry. She knows just how to put a smile on my face.

10. Thankful for fall, and the changing leaves, and the cool weather. It just brings a whole new laid back attitude with my desire for spending time outdoors increasing quickly.

11. Thankful for random texts of encouragement and prayer reminders from friends I haven't heard from in a while.

12. Thankful for this reminder below. i believe THAT with my whole heart!

13. Thankful for lazy Saturdays at home with my fam, drinking wine, making a home cooked meal and an early bed time, call me a grandma and i'd be just fine with that.

14. Thankful for the church I grew up in and the people who have seen me grow up. They love me so well and give the best hugs.

15. Thankful for this encouragement. She was one wise woman...
“I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ― Maya Angelou

16. Thankful that my dad made it through surgery! GOD IS GOOD!

17. Thankful for my roomies and how my roomies love me and love my family so much! they mean the world to me!

18. Thankful for tivo, seems silly, but at the end of a rough day/week sometimes there is nothing better than drinking some wine and watching your favorite show. mindless and lovely i tell you.

19. Thankful for sunsets from the front porch of my parents house. perfection

20. Thankful for aggie football and the fun that always surrounds it. fun with friends cheerin' on our favorite team.

21. Thankful for my church. and Matt Chandler. and his desire for God to be known and for us (his people) to make Him known.

22. Thankful for God's grace. and how He constantly pursues my heart.

23. Thankful for Marquejah, I love that girl so much and I am constantly reminded that she teaches me way more than I even teach her.

24. Thankful for Psalm 61. and all of its promises.

my list could go on and on. but as i just read through this my heart swells that i have all of these things to be thankful for. that God has entrusted me with all of these people and places and things. thankful, i tell you. thankful.

and now, it's CHRISTMAS TIME!!!

Never once.

heard this song at church on sunday. realized how much truth it reveals in my life right now. grateful that my God is faithful, in the good and the bad, the hard and the easy, and everything else in between. this was just such a sweet reminder, that He is with me, He is for me, and I really can get through anything with him on my side.

Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

He is for us and He loves us

you know those weeks where you sometimes really don't think you will make it to Friday. but then, all of the sudden Friday is here and you are slightly shocked and extremely excited. this week HAS been a long one to say the least, lots of things have been going on in the mccauley family world...we found out my dad had a stroke (around 2 weeks ago). to say we are grateful that he is ok and that nothing more serious happened would be an understatement.

with dad's cancer diagnosis, the tumor in my neck, tons of surgeries, doctors appointments, and everything else going on, i can still confidently say that God really does only give you what you can handle. i was talking to my mom the other day about how i havent really cried. about my dads cancer or about all of my surgeries and doctors appointments and the big unknown of the tumor in my neck...she went on to say, "i think it's bc you aren't scared. you really do have an overall peace about the situations God has placed you and our family in." i thought about that for a while, at first not really believing her AT ALL but i just keep thinking about what she said. of course i have moments of fear, where i feel it trying to creep up in situations but i think at the end of each day (especially in the past 2 months) i have a steady peace throughout all the unknown. i do trust in God's plan for my life and as i see him continually protecting my family from a bigger problem or something much worse i can honestly say i wouldn't change any of the situations we are in.

i have been realizing i need to blog about all of these things for a while now but havent really felt up to it. trying to figure out how to put things into words is either really easy for me or really hard, never much of an in between to be honest. i was telling a friend earlier in the week "sometimes the fear just creeps up and i'm having the hardest time pushing it away, and i hate that feeling of it owning you." my friend said, "i know it's hard to trust that the Lord knows what He is doing. He's not going to put you through anything you cant handle though. yes he challenges us, and sometimes the challenges aren't easy, but he is for us. I know that's hard to believe maybe, but He loves you."

i think its the last part that really got me and thats when everything clicked. sometimes it can be that simple. that He is for us and He loves us. whatever the challenges or difficult situations are that come our way, He is for us and He loves us. if at the end of the day i truly believe that and live that out in my life, the fear will slip away and peace will creep in and fill my heart. don't get me wrong, there are some days where i feel like i need to be constantly reminded of that or have someone repeatedly encouraging me in that BUT that's ok.

and amidst all of these doctors appointments in dallas and houston i have felt SO loved. i know i've said this before as well but my friends and family know to love BIG. and they do it sooo well. i know a lot of people say they are "blessed" but i can honestly say my friends and family make me feel blessed every. single. day. whether it's a text or a hug or a small thing that they may not even realize, it goes so far with me and fills up my heart.

you know that feeling when you take a deep breath and didnt even realize you were holding it in, i have had those moments a lot recently, but it's in those moments that i realize the love that surrounds me, when i am able to take a big breath out, its like saying "phew, i am not doing any of this on my own." and i mean seriously, how blessed does that make me? i cant even describe.

i know in years or months i will be glad i wrote this little post. if for any reason is that i know the Lord has more to teach me in the coming months with trusting him through doctors and surgeons and medicines. and i THINK i am prepared to see how he will work through those situations. if anything, i know it will be for his glory, and as long as i can remember that He loves ME and He is for ME then i know everything will turn out just as he planned all along.

this is my dream house/room/bed/decorations. and yes, this is definitely important enough to blog.

the perfect reminder on a day just like today. grateful that He loves me, takes delight in me, quiets my fears with His love and rejoices over me.

just what i needed today. knowing that i am always in the middle of God's plan for my life...whatever it is. wherever it is. whoever it's with. He knows, and that is what matters. plain and simple.

keep me.

at church on sunday, matt chandler preached through galatians 5:1-15, it was a great sermon that talked about fear and love and living a life that exudes what freedom in Christ really is.

but all i can keep thinking about is the one thing i took away...he was talking about how his prayer every single more is very simple.... matt said he prays, "keep me, Lord."

keep me, Lord.

i guess what it comes down to is and what the Lord wanted me to take away from this particular, kind of random, sunday night church service is that it really is that simple.

keep me, Lord.

keep me, loving.
keep me, enduring.
keep me, struggling.
keep me, fighting.
keep me, laughing.
keep me, learning.
keep me, yearning.
keep me, praying.
keep me, listening.

Jesus promises me this freedom and promises me that He will...keep me by the freedom he promises me and desires for me as long as i stand firm. that He will keep me under his wing. He doesn't ever say it won't come without a cost or a fight or hardship or even laughter and love. but knowing that He keeps me, and knowing even more that that needs to be my prayer, my desire, my longing. that reminder being put on my heart on sunday was something i needed so much more than i ever, ever realized.

grateful for a Lord who loves me far more than anyone. grateful for a church that challenges me. grateful for people in my life who love me so well and love me despite all my failures. and mostly grateful for a Jesus who just simply keeps me.