saturday i just had one of those days. where i really wouldn't change one single thing about it. and it was everything i wanted and more.
lunch with some people i love so, so much.
cruising with the windows down in a 99 chevy blazer.
listening to new music by leagues, drew holcomb, andrew combs, the list could go on and on.
driving down music row.
chonga-ritas for hours, telling stories and reliving the glory days.
spending 6 hours at bluebird cafe listening to music & songwriting legends.
james t. slater, tony haselden, walker hayes, rory lee feek.
not being able to wipe a smile off my face.
thinking that all i want to do is thank God for these people at the table and the love and joy they give me.
tweeting inside jokes.
exploring a new city.
late night chats.
slumber parties.
listening to old and new friends play music, using their talents God gave them.
80 degree weather.
joy, lots of it. just lots and lots of smiles, laughter and JOY.
feeling inspired to bring a little nashville life back to dallas. slowing it all down a little and just taking things in. spending time enjoying what i have been given.
sometimes i just need this blog to get my thoughts on a page. so that in a month i can come back and process and maybe see how the Lord has worked on some things in my life, my heart, anything along this crazy ride He puts me on. Wait, not that He puts me on. More like the crazy ride we are on TOGETHER. that's probably the #1 thing i need to remind myself of, is that i'm not alone. ever.
a few things that i can't stop wrestling with...
respect.
what it looks like to receive it. from people i barely know and from people i love the most. mainly i think i have been reflecting on what it looks like for a boy to fully respect me. since i'm single i feel like the Lord is just continually opening my eyes to what he desires for me and i am slowly receiving it and learning its meaningfullness and necessity in my life. i read a blog post from Donald Miller a few months ago and again yesterday and it just really gives insight on what this should look like and what the Lord desires for it to look like. also, just a reminder that if i continually pursue things that don't have respect as a huge focus, then they probably won't work out in the end...why i would want to continually disappoint myself, i'm not so sure?? but again this is a slow lesson and ill take it : )
compassion.
this weekend i saw The Help. needless to say it sparked tons of thoughts in my mind and my heart. not just this movie but just the daily life we live. i find myself asking, how do i give compassion to people i love and walk with day in and day out? how do i give compassion to people i hardly know or people i dont even know at all? what does compassion look like? is it money, prayer, love, hugs, etc? this is a newer thing for me i guess but just with everything going on in the world, in my life, i want to be consicious of how i am called to use compassion in my day-to-day life.
gratefulness.
recently, everytime i spend time with friends, family, Marquejah i just have this overwhelming feeling of gratefulness. almost like i just want to shout to anyone that will listen..."how did I get ALL of THIS??" i guess if anything i am just reminded that i am grateful. blessed. that all of these people in my life are sooo precious to me. i find myself more and more ferociously defensive of the people in my tight knit circle and grateful that my circle has so much purpose and love and joy for every. single. person in it. why He ever gave me so much joy through these people i will never know but i wouldn't change it for the world.
struggle.
there are way too many things to list that i am struggling with in my life. i go back and forth with things that i just want gone. but it's like no matter where i am at, the Lord just continues to whisper "at least you're struggling." and the more i think about it, it's true. struggle can be hard and horrible but at the same time, it can be SO good. and the Lord promised ME that I would struggle. he never promised me the easy road and in the end i know that's not what i want. instead i want to be sharpened and challenged and always struggling. hopefully not always with the same things but, struggling all the same.
prayer.
the power of it. the NEED for it daily, hourly, in my life. the way when you finally "make the time" it allows you to feel like you and God are just bff's solving the world's problems one sentence at a time. just a necessity that gives me so much joy and clarity BUT needs to be done more often. also, through the village church i feel like the Lord has really shown me the true power in prayer and how He wants us to use it and what can come from it.
being intentional.
not so much with people because i feel like that is one thing i love to do. but just with the simple things that in the moment don't ever feel simple, easy, or exciting - working out, grocery shopping, eating healthy, reading my bible. all of these things are necessities (or should be) but i find my self not really liking to do and always putting off for one stupid reason or the other.
phewwww. it's been a while since i blogged and i instantly have a weight off my shoulders. there is something about getting it out of your mind and onto paper or this blog for that matter that somehow makes it real, which can be tough, but at the same time somehow makes things seem much more attainable.
so, here i go...
this past weekend we had the 2011 McPhail Family Reunion! with almost 40 people split among two houses we had tons of fun and tons of catching up to do since the last time we had one was in 2004...We spent 3 nights at Lake LBJ in these awesome log houses with pools and lake views. we had lots of margaritas, sangria, unlimited queso from el arroyo, and lots of memories were definitely made.
on friday night since everyone was together, we had the first celebration for my grandpa's upcoming 90th birthday with the entire extended family. we had an awesome airplane cake, lots of stories, some tributes to him from his brother and at the end he wanted to share a poem that he learned in high school that had carried him to where he is now.
needless to say there weren't many dry tears as he recited it (from MEMORY!!...did i mention he is 90??) i had the chance to be sitting right next to him as he got teary eyed and he slowly recited it, i felt like he was drawing memories from each verse as tears came down his face. anyway, that was a moment I will never forget and this poem is definitely one that I feel I will carry with me from this point forward.
Rudyard Kipling "When Earth's Last Picture is Painted"
"When Earth's last picture is painted
And the tubes are twisted and dried
When the oldest colors have faded
And the youngest critic has died
We shall rest, and faith, we shall need it
Lie down for an aeon or two
'Till the Master of all good workmen
Shall put us to work anew
And those that were good shall be happy
They'll sit in a golden chair
They'll splash at a ten league canvas
With brushes of comet's hair
They'll find real saints to draw from
Magdalene, Peter, and Paul
They'll work for an age at a sitting
And never be tired at all.
And only the Master shall praise us.
And only the Master shall blame.
And no one will work for the money.
No one will work for the fame.
But each for the joy of the working,
And each, in his separate star,
Will draw the thing as he sees it.
For the God of things as they are!"
i just love this and am kinda amazed that i have never heard it in my life. grateful that i got to share that moment with my gpa as he shared it with us, seeing how much it affected him, im excited to carry it with me from now on :)
how many times do I have to tell myself this before i believe it?!?
(deeeeep breath)
praying for tomorrow to be even more than amazing, how about that?
