What I would give to walk out of my office and wander streets just like this...

It's definitely gonna be one of those day dreamin' days.

G CHAT CONVOS

my friend:  i know
um so & so's facebook status is "its a boy!"
hes you know who... for as "baptist" as that family is, they sure have alot of people that have had kids out of wedlock/with interesting people.
me: yeah haha seriously
my friend: i mean maybe hes talking in code. like as in he got a puppy or something.
but i doubt it haha
me:  yeah i doubt it haha

AND THEN.
my friend:  a few things:
1) where did she find a "22" birthday crown? they sell those? its not like a milestone bday...
2) how does shes get her dress to stay down when she raises her arms
3) they are drinking natty light and franzia. im so glad we're thru with that stage of life.
4) where is her boyfirend at her party?
THAT IS ALL.  

Yep, He loves me.

If you really start to think about it you get ONE chance in life. Now, not in the everyday things but at the end of the day it's all about that one moment, that one opportunity where He breathed life into your soul and you started your journey that was not about you but about something SO. MUCH. BIGGER. It now becomes about living a life that glorifies Him. a life filled with forgiveness, love, and faith. with struggle and uphill battles. But at the end of the day knowing that HE is on my side. That he fights for me and loves me when I continue to screw up. over and over again. HE LOVES ME.

"The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still." Exodus 14:14


I would say that verse has definitely carried me through the last year. It's probably one of the hardest things for me to do but He really has showed me what being still looks like. But even more what fighting for me looks like. Having someone who always has your back, who you can turn to, who loves you even though you are so broken and have made the same mistake for the 100th time. I can think about it all day and still be like "why me?" But it's simply what He has promised me.


God has been teaching me alot recently about patience. I have never really though of myself as being impatient but I see it in lots of small things in life. I think He is really teaching me what it is like to wrestle with things for the first time. That it's ok to be mad, frustrated, annoyed with Him. I feel like the more I allow myself to feel these emotions - the more answers I get. I love this...this feeling of being challenged. of not settling. of feeling the need to dig deeper for answers - in myself, in the bible, in relationships, in life. I think with this comes freedom and also excitement instead of fear of what is to come. It gives me much more peace to rest in His plan even though I may not always see the light at the end of tunnel in that specific moment. Being able to realize that NOT knowing is OK.


My friend Jenny sent me this you tube video of this worship song by Jonathan David Helser. Long story short it led me to downloading his CD on iTunes. In order to get the song I wanted, you had to buy the whole CD. It only has about 8 songs and some of them are like 15 minutes long so at first I was like wait, why did I just buy this? This is kinda weird. Needless to say I have been listening to it a little here and there. and I CAN'T STOP LISTENING to the end of his song In the Middle. Depending on the day it stirs up so many emotions in me but at the end of the day I feel like this song describes His promises. The love He has for me. Why he chose me and why he continues to forgive me and challenge me.


"Oh God, invading my space. You are closer than the skin on my broken frame. you know every word on my lips even before I speak. every day of my life Lord is written in Your book. You know me inside and out. You created me in my mother's womb. You never even thought about leaving me. even in my sin. even in my darkenss. even in my mess. YOU LOVE ME. You came down from heaven, perfect One. walked right into my sin and You washed the feet, the filthy feet of me. Who has ever heard of such a thing. that a King would wash his servants feet. Oh what a love, that the God of all, would come down from heaven above and wash the feet of the one He loves. You never leave."


And... I officially just rambled. ALOT. but I feel lighter. and grateful. and loved. Grateful just for friends, family and the direction God is leading my life in.

Wouldn't want it any other way...

A few loose ends...

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next."

ohhhhhh, so that's how it works.

 

 

Can't wait to get to College Station this weekend and see all my besties! Reunions there are always even more fun because we get to be alum and relive our glory days. Well, lets be honest, we are still living our glory days but still. There is NOTHING like spending quality time with them, wherever we may be : )

IT'S SPRING!!

Or close enough anyway!! It's March 1st and the most important thing about this day is that is  Stephanie Crook's bday! So happy to get to celebrate with her and so grateful to have her in my life : )

She also has the awesome opportunity to share her bday with the one and only Justin Bieber. If you want to know how she feels about that, just ask her...I wouldn't necessarily call her a "belieber" ;)



Upcoming events in March include...Emmie's 1st birthday party this weekend which also means a reunion in College Station; la bodega, daisy dukes, and all my best friends = perfection. Also in the next few weeks, Greenville St. Patrick's Day which I am SO SO excited about, a trip to Puerto Rico, my other roomie/bff KK's big 2-4, and ending the month with our first grown up trip to New Orleans!! Not that we will act like grown ups BUT it is the first trip we have actually planned and accomplished since we graduated and let's just say we have talked about quite a few. I can't wait for the many more to come!!

This past week was kinda on the rough side but I am just feeling so grateful for God's faithfulness through it all. He really never. ever. fails to show up in some way ALL the time. So, I think I need to remember that when I let myself get a little too stressed out...

Excited for kickball tonight, we are taking on some veterans so hopefully we can come out with a W-I-N. And then we get to have smcrook's first bday celebration with some flip cup and birthday karaoke, our skills hopefully helping us make an appearance on KISS FM tomorrow morning?!

We could run away...

 

"Everything stops as we look towards the clock
It feels like we’re moving backwards
It’s easy to find potential in before
But we look the same in the afters

Could we wait long enough to bide my time
Could we stay and say enough to change my mind

We could run away
Maybe we could change
Get back on our feet and then
Maybe make it home again
We could run away
Be on our own again
Maybe in the twilight
We can break out
Buy ourselves a Cadillac
Never turn around
We could run away
Be on our own again

We could stay here where things became unclear
Fighting what’s left of the right way
But everyone hates the chances that we waste
Under the light of the new day

Could we wait long enough to bide my time
Could we stay and say enough to change my mind

We could run away
Maybe we could change
Get back on our feet and then
Maybe make it home again
We could run away
Be on our own again
Maybe in the twilight
We can break out
Buy ourselves a Cadillac
Never turn around
We could run away
Be on our own again."

Super star.

So excited for this weekend! Saturday morning I will be headed to OKC to see this beauty below be the lead in Oklahoma City University's "Pagliacci/Gianni Schicchi". In other words an Italian opera...(I think)

We have always grown up super close but have always excelled at really different things. Having only brothers though, it has always made us close and given us the opportunity to encourage each other and do really fun mother/daughter stuff together. From super fun trips to introducing me to the Dillard's Clearance Sale (ahhhh. MY. FAVE.) we always have a blast!



Needless to say, I am VERY EXCITED to see her shine and can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for her future! I know the next event after her opera is over is her audition at Juilliard. NBD.

Like I said she is a super star and I love her so so much!

Break a leg, Maren!